My life, my choice, my point of view, believes, myself, music, writing, some thoughts, outbursts, stress relieve, what makes me smile, what hurts. What’s old, what’s new, what the future holds and what’s true.
Sometimes I will go crazy and be bold.
Others it’s simply whatever I feel or want to share.
This is my small life in the big world.
The Big small Life
Burn (Original Song) - My voice is almost completely gone. I wanted to take advantage of that write an incredibly personal song with a soft vocal presence. xx
And the sin falls out your mouth.
Raining on the groves of seeds you planted by yourself.
And you think like no one else,
the whispers kept in jars upon your shelf.
The church is still there waiting, the pew is getting cold.
I imagine I’ll go back there, when it’s too late and I’m old.
Close the curtains keep the sun out, you know just what say.
Like your mother not your father, your an inch from where she lay.Burn away.
It’s better when you’re quiet, and no one heres a sound.
God help those who make scars, when everyone’s around.
I wrapped my regret shaking, when I woke up from the ground.
And the company I trusted thought all their words profound.
A toe that’s on it’s point, a moment in ballet.
It’s dirty when the listener, only hears halfway.
All the efforts I put forward, they turned on me that day.
It’s me that lit the fire so now we burn away.Burn away.
How much does it weigh? That bird that won’t stay.
How much does it weight? The lie you wrapped up in your mane.
At some point they change, hope looses its shine. It looses all its glory and higher purpose. And in snap what is regarded as the most beautiful feelings after that all powerful love. Becomes a second rate emotion with allot of poison, anger and abandon.
So when does Hope truly become desperation? When you work 4 jobs to pay your debts and in the end can’t pay them all?
When after 30 years of life you have never been on a (official) date or even had someone other than friends or family say “I love you”, “I care”?
When you are trying your best to bounce back from a failed abusive relationship and the person that was your guiding light, pillar of support kills himself, claiming no one understand?
When does the light truly turn dark? Is there a set amount of time or events that can truly kill this emotion. Can the only thing that Pandora never released from that box even be killed?
In this war torn world, rising oil prices, damaged economy, poverty, hate, discrimination have we reached that point. Are we ready to let Hope go?
Accept that we have done all we could there is nothing left. There is no glimmer of a win, no slight gust of fresh air to clear the smog and simply not a drop of perseverance left to keep trying.
So we will turn to act of desperate need for self fulfillment, the believe of me, my self and I. No need for candor just as long as I get what I want. Are we truly that far gone that Hope is turning into Desperation?
I’m asking !!!!!!
Toxic people!
They come in different shapes and sizes. You probably know one or two. And they’ve probably worked on your nerves countless times, without you even realizing that they’re nothing but just poisonous.
Toxicity is the degree to which a substance can damage a living or non-living organism.
And surely there are people who act just like this…
If you don’t handle them with caution they’d leave you drained, weary, emotionally numb, miserable, burdened, low on energy, stressed n’ burned out, handicapped…as good as death (and I’m not necessarily talking about the physical).
One particular sort in this plague of toxins that caught my attention lately is the “cynical flush”. I know, I know, I could just call them negative. But believe me, they’re not only negative, they really really flush out your vigor and positive spirit. I mean really…like mosquitoes…the SUCK out your “plus” side. And if you don’t realize this in time, you’ll end up behaving exactly like them.
They find something to criticize about just EVERYTHING. Today they pledge not to give a flying duck about person X, and tomorrow they shower you down with their venom again of their dislike and hatred towards this same person X…just because…
They end up complaining about their situation all the time (which to them of course, is the WORST in the whole wide universe and beyond). It doesn’t really matter if there isn’t anything new to complain about today, that very old situation that happened 2,000 years ago, you know that one time a wasp bit them, is still as important to them to bring it up once more and complain about it yet again.
Morning, noon, afternoon or nighttime…pfff…time doesn’t really matter; everytime’s a good time to COMPLAIN!!!
They’re also masters of victimizing themselves…and they make it a great deal. Sure, they never did “anything” to deserve such fate. (snif-snif) And even though they didn’t move a single finger to change their own situation for the better, they think it’s cruel…and, and…unfair and hard. And of course their victim position (which they give themselves) gives them every right to put their yoke on your shoulder.
…and they drain you!!! They drag you down with them, these toxic people.
Of course there…there are surely more toxic types!
Here’s a small list, just to name a few… (I named them myself, yes)
* The ultra narcissistic (“me” centered!! From the rising of the sun, until…well, until it goes down and rises again. No mercy, this type’s an egomaniac!
But really, what can be more interesting than “me”? And if it’s not me, than it’s “I”…no further discussions. This type ussualy results in a socially inept person; most relationships will clash.)
* The appendix( sticky on every side, just like the Scotch Broth tape. Intesely clingy…Depends on you as though you were oxygen. And sincerely wants to be a legitimate part of you; you know, just like your limb, your backbone…your eye! This person often leads a sad, gloomy or depressed existance. And oftentimes they are skeptical and paranoid.)
* The unwanted parent( inadvertently decides to boss you around as though you were their child. If it’s not because of the type of person YOU choose as YOUR significant other, it’s for the tattoo you’ve gotten or simply it’s your choice of clothes… Fact is, they feel they have the right to boss you around, demand an explanation, and invade your personal space. And clearly, their approval and/or disapproval should be taken to head, heart and…butt!)
* The whiner(oh well, the situation doesn’t necessarily have to be ABOUT you or even CAUSED by you. Come on!!! You don’t really have to be involved in it nor does it require some special knowledge or anything. You’re simply…the person they approach to whine about it all.
Important note: do NOT, for the love of your sanity, offer any possible solutions. That’s not what they come to you for in the end. Your solution will be brushed off the table with another whiny comment. And as soon as there’s something new to whine about, you’ll be the first to know…)
* The pro boxer(very similar to the whiner, but only more aggressive (not necessarily physical). Congratulations,YOU’RE their punching bag… Just..just…face it!)
* The remote control
(Needs to control your every step. If this person loses control they might freak out. They are also the type that becomes invasive, bossy, puts pressure and plays power games. They even walk in an autoritative manner and loves it when someone is dependant to them.)
* The saint(nothing really ever happened because of them. They’re totally incapable of harming one defenseless ant, how can one say they did THAT? The fault is always something or someone else’s, never ever ever….EVER on themselves! Not ever…! Don’t you even dare think such thing of a saint like this! The saint is often an extremely self-righteous person. If you insist on their fault they can turn into a rude, arrogant and argumentative bug.)
* The synthetic (“friendly” in your face and lashes about you behind your back. Words like gossipy, nosy and “know-it-all” partially describes this type. Seriously if this person does it with everyone else, what makes you think you’re the exception?)
I’m sure you signaled quite a few people in the above-mentioned examples, didnt you? Did you also signal yourself?
There are plenty more examples of people who can be toxic… I’m sure…go on a quest and find out for yourself.
Those of you who know me, also know that I can be quite tolerant, patient & blah blah blah. But honestly, who can keep it all together for a long while with someone who damages your physical, mental and or emotional well-being?
If poison is poured on your arm, you don’t just stand there and watch it burn and eat your flesh do you? So why do it when it comes to these toxins??? (sigh)
I pray for knowledge to deal with these, seriously…or else money to pay my bail-out! But either way, I need them to give me a frigging break and go drown themselves in their own venomous gal elsewhere. ELSEWHERE!!! I thank them very (incredibly) much…can’t show you the magnitude of this gratitude. But it comes from the deepest part of my heart…and it overflows… Oh sure it does…
I know, the post doesn’t really contain any inspirational messages today or anything. I’m sorry, I just needed to vent… And, to be honest, it does feel better (thou you’ve just finished reading the 10x reviewed and partially adapted (PG-13) version of the venting). Thanks for allowing me to lighten the burden from on my shoulder…
And by the way, here’s still wishing you a toxic-free remaining of the week. (hoping I can count on the same…so far it’s been ok
